Christian poet Sarah Trent ends her poem on releasing expectations, finding hope in God’s Presence amidst the struggle:
Because I am beginning to understand that God is not only the God of deliverance. He is the God who sits with His children in furnaces. He is not only the God who parts seas. He is the God who walks on them in the middle of the night toward frightened disciples. He is not only resurrection. He is Emmanuel. God with us.
And perhaps that is the miracle sustaining me now. Not that He always chooses differently than suffering. But that He never chooses differently than staying. He stays. Through the funeral. Through the empty nursery. Through the unanswered prayer. Through the shattered expectation. Through the version of your life that looks nothing like the one you carried in your heart. He stays.
And one day, whether in this life or the next, I believe I will look into the face of God and understand that love was never absent from His choices. Only hidden inside them. Until then, I will hold onto Him with trembling hands and say, “I don’t understand Your ways. I don’t understand Your timing. I don’t understand this story. But I know Your character. And somehow, that will have to be enough for tonight.”
Because sometimes faith is not singing in the sunshine. Sometimes faith is weeping in the dark and whispering, “I thought You would choose differently…” and staying anyway.